i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
