Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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