This is not my ceiling
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
