At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize