The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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