Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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