My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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