Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
50% drunk capacity currently
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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