I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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