you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
