he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
