Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
