My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
