Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
