I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Everyone says I win the strip club
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
