Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
