remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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