I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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