He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
