It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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