break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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