Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
