Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She said her name was "party"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
