Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
