is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
