Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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