Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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