I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
