she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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