He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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