I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize