best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
