You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
