This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
