THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize