My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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