you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
