How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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