she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize