Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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