Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
