Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
