I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
