I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
