i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
