That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She announced her abortion via fbk
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
