I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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