You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
