I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Are we still banned from the library?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
