I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
