yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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