it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
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