he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
