There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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