You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So. Much. Porn.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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