Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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