So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
