Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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