So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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